Grow Confidence and Self-Love
What Crushed Your Self-Confidence?
Sometimes life has a way of kicking us when we’re already down. Maybe you went through a tough breakup or lost a job you loved (even if all you loved about it was the paycheck). Sometimes we all find ourselves feeling less than confident, less than worthy, or less than lovable. Even if we know none of these things are true at our deepest core, we still find ourselves filled with doubt rather than confidence and self-love. But if you find yourself a little off-balance and questioning where you’re at, and where you’re going you may find that your confidence begins to crumble at the same time.
Self-doubt is a big and ugly monster that rears its head just when we’re not prepared to deal with it. It’s sneaky and underhanded and likes to pick its battles with us when we’re feeling weak.
No matter what has knocked you off your game, there’s always time to rebuild, reconnect, and emerge stronger than you were before.
How Insecurity and Lack of Confidence Can Affect You
Having low self-confidence and feeling insecure can manifest itself in your life in a variety of ways. Here are just a few to compare the way you’re feeling with to determine if you need a confidence and self-love boost.
- Anxiety & Depression: Feeling unworthy and lacking confidence can often show up in your life as anxiety and depression. This can happen for a variety of reasons including feeling like your life is out of control due to not having enough confidence.
- Toxic or abusive relationships: Because a woman is lacking confidence and self-love they often also feel unworthy of being treated with respect. This can cause them to stay in unhealthy or even emotionally abusive or physically abusive relationships.
- Lack of boundaries: A woman who is lacking self-confidence often seeks approval and relationships from anywhere, even from people who are likely taking advantage of her. Being unable to say no, or lacking healthy boundaries to keep people from taking advantage of her can be a sign or symptom of low self-esteem.
- Loneliness: A woman who is suffering from a lack of confidence and self-esteem can tend to isolate herself, withdraw from friends and not seek social interaction which then results in a sense of loneliness and isolation.
Growing Stronger Confidence and Self-Love
- Stop negative self-talk. The way you talk to yourself should at least be as kind and polite as you talk to others. Stop the internal name-calling, and telling yourself that you are worthless. Every time you catch yourself having an internal thought like this repeat a self-positive affirmation to yourself three times.
- Make good choices. By doing little things for ourselves we know are good for us we can build our self-confidence. Small things like getting a little exercise every day, eating right, choosing healthy relationships, all directly relate to how we feel about ourselves.
- Create healthy boundaries. Now that you’re treating yourself better, it’s time for others to do the same. Creating boundaries is a form of self-respect and a cue for those in relationships with us for how we expect to be treated. By sticking to those boundaries others will pick up on the cues and start to treat us better too.
- Heap on the self-praise. Make yourself a list of positive affirmations, choose things that you already believe to be true about yourself and repeat them to yourself three times a day. These can be anything at all, and don’t worry about feeling silly or choosing something superficial, these are just for you and no one else will know about them. Choose things you are good at, qualities about yourself you like, or that others have praised about you in the past. Create a habit of starting your day, marking the mid-point of your day, and ending your day every day by reciting these three positive affirmations.
Have you struggled with confidence and self-love?
About the Author
Angela Keck is the content & community manager for Sanity & Self. You can always find her hanging out on the Real Convo tab of the app, on our social media pages, as well as right here on the blog. In addition to being passionate about self-care, Angela is also a wife, a mother of two, and a writer (in her spare time).