The Self-Care Women Deserve…
What Does That Mean?
Why do we, as women, deserve self-care? Why do we deserve to make ourselves feel better, to be better, stronger? We’ve got a track record that shows us how many mistakes we’ve made, how many times we’ve said we’re not going to go after the wrong guy or girl, and yet, here we are…heartbroken and alone. Again.
Deep inside many of us believe that the care of ourselves should be secondary to caring for others, it should come in the infamous spare time that none of us can really find. Or if we manage to find it somehow, we’re too tired to use it for anything other than sleeping, or collapsing into bed and wishing we could sleep if only our mind would stop spinning.
Why do we doubt that we deserve it?
We doubt that we deserve self-care because we’ve spent a lifetime loving the wrong people, listening to the snarky friend, or the bitchy aunt who makes us feel like less, like we don’t deserve more.
Heartache, heartbreak, toxic friends, narcissistic romantic partners, broken dreams, failed relationships, all of these things compound in our mind until we can’t carry the weight of it all. Each little chip at our exterior wears us down until we give up, we throw in the towel and say that’s it, I’m just not worthy of anything more! We spend our days in survival mode, not in grow and thrive mode.
But we are worthy, and deep down inside we want to believe it, more importantly, we want to FEEL it! But we have doubts, those insecurities are loud, and they tell us we’re not worth therapy, or counseling, or an app filled with audio tracks designed to make us feel better! We’d much rather spend that money on Netflix, or a bottle of wine, or a handful of chocolate. And sure, yeah, I get it! All of those things make us feel better…for a little while.
What if we started a new way to define self-care for women? Listen, the mindlessness of zoning out in front of your fave 80’s rom-com is not to be disputed. The numbness from drinking half (or more) of that bottle of wine and polishing off that dark chocolate bar you secretly hid in the freezer behind a bag of broccoli is satisfying in itself. But what if…just what IF…you could listen to Melanie DewBerry tell you how to form boundaries that would change your life. That is not an oversell, change.your.life. What if Airial Clark could whisper in your ear that you don’t really have to give all the f#cks you do? What would that do for you? What if you could learn how to ask for what you want in a relationship and (gasp) in the bedroom? What if next time you actually had an orgasm instead of just telling yourself it doesn’t matter and falling asleep while he snores?
Aren’t You Worth A Few Bucks a Month?
Budgets are a thing that we all have to wrangle. Childcare costs, rent, utilities, groceries, it all adds up! At the end of the day only we can decide where that last $5 should go. The bottle of wine will be there next week, that dark chocolate isn’t going anywhere (thank goodness!) and Netflix will always be there when we need to zone out. But self-care, we deserve it, we are worthy of it, and that’s worth so much more than you can know.
What is the worst that could happen? You could prove us wrong, and yourself right. I mean, that’d feel pretty damn good, right? But you could also figure out that you’re deserving of more than you’re giving yourself now. You could realize that the reason people in your life treat you like less is that you don’t stop them, or you could get the courage and the confidence to chase after that dream you’ve been too afraid to even think about up until now.
We believe in you. We think you can do it! We think all you need is a little (or a lot) of self-care and you can be the best you.
About the Author
Angela Keck is the content & community manager for Sanity & Self. You can always find her hanging out on the Real Convo tab of the app, on our social media pages, as well as right here on the blog. In addition to being passionate about self-care, Angela is also a wife, a mother of two, and a writer (in her spare time).